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"And the stars are projectors, yeah, projecting our lives down to this planet Earth." - Modest Mouse


4.10.2004

Installing Linux On A Dead Badger 

You've always wanted to but never knew how... Lucy A. Snyder gives us the rundown.
Step 1: Find a suitable badger. Specimens from zoos are ideal, but suitable badgers can be found as roadkill along highways in many parts of North America, the British Isles, continental Europe, Asia, and parts of Africa.

Other animals of family Mustelidae can be used in place of a badger, but an adapter may be required. See Appendix II for details.

Step 2: Once you have obtained a dead badger, check it carefully for structural damage, particularly in the spine, skull, and legs. Dead badgers do not heal, and a badger with broken legs will display limited mobility. Brain and spinal cord damage is likely to interfere with the Linux installation and render any successfully-installed system unstable, as well as voiding all explicit and implicit warranties according to the laws of any and every state, country, or alternate dimension, present or future.

As a precaution against infection, wear latex gloves at all times when handling your dead badger. It is highly recommended that you wash the carcass with a suitable flea-killing shampoo.

Step 3: Obtain a copy of FleshGolem or other cyberspiritual controller program. This test was conducted with a copy of FleshGolem downloaded from the Apple site's utilities section. Follow all installation instructions carefully, including addenda in the readme.txt file.

All cyberspiritual controllers should be compatible with either Duppy cards or SpiritInTheSky adapters.
[Thanks to Singlenesia for the tip.]

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